[The Vl'hurgs]
Vl'hurg Imperial Photo Gallery
This is from the Mail on Sunday magazine dated August 17, 1986. Deep in the
intestines of a Betelgeusian slime-eating lizard our masters gave the order
that we were to partake in a bizarre earth-ritual known as a "Dongola Race". We
naturally did our best, but only got to the second round before we were
eliminated. The orange smoke being emitted by Admiral J'Lee is to release
toxins that had built up in her body through her exertions. The rest of us just
dealt with these by subsequently imbibing a blend of ethanol, water and various
earth-flavorings.
Bow to stern: 1. Admiral Jennyk Rasner, 2. His Most Imperial Highness
the Glorious Emperor of the Vl'hurgs, 3. The Imperial Poet-Master D'Nee HN'Ree,
4. Vice Admiral Paretz', 5. Admiral J'Lee and 6. Captain Daveb Alding.
Note black jewelled battle shorts being sported by His Imperial Highness.
This is the inter-college Dongola Regatta the following year (1987). David
Balding at the stern (as before), Chris Oakley (the emperor), Steve Hoey, Gilly
Filsner and at the bow, a newcomer, Martin Hartigan. All from Trinity College.
A dinner at Trinity College hall, 11 November 1983. L to R: C. Ward Parshall,
James Graham-Eagle, Raymond Paretzky, Steve Wilkinson, John Board, Guy
Coughlan, Jo Zuk, Chris Oakley, Tim Macintosh-Smith, Catherine Lassila, Fiona
Little, Nick Kalivas, Domenica Freedman, Heather Warren.
Vice-Admiral Warren had transgressed Vl'hurg law by calling the Vl'hurgs
"fairly frivolous" when delivering a sermon in the chapel (she was training to
be a Methodist minister). It was therefore our solemn duty to convene a Vl'hurg
court. The Kalivas, sporting his judicial nose, reads the charges. I cannot
remember what the outcome was, but I have no doubt that she would have
seriously regretted it.
The accused, apparently unconcerned at the levity of her predicament.
After a Vl'hurg dinner, 30 November 1984. At the back, Grahame Blair, Chris
Oakley. Next row: Catherine Lassilla, Raymond Paretzky, Mary Spyropoulos, Jo
Zuk (obscured), Steve Wilkinson, John Whitworth and an Australian friend of Guy
Coughlan, whose name I do not recall. Note customised bow tie.
June 1985. Admiral J'Lee and the Emperor present the earth-author, Douglas
Adams with an honorary degree. Embarrassingly, Mr. Adams seems not to
understand the Vl'hurgian script written thereon. The emperor issues the
following declaration:
"Be it known to all and sundry that I, Dipso, Emperor of the Vl'hurgs, together
with the other survivors of the Earth landing party, do honour the noble Cosmic
Historian Douglas Adams. Be it know that He of Highest Esteem, whose mother is
revered throughout our galaxy, has been deemed fit to hold the highest honour
our Universities may bestow upon an alien. Douglas Adams, you are hereby
presented with this scroll, the hallowed parchment of the Degree of Doctor of
Cosmic Law."
Note the impressive imperial gut on the right (now even more impressive):
the visible evidence of many a Carbon Tetrachloride binge.