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The Byronic Bounty

by Fiona "Countess of Auchtermuchty" Gregory-Smith

A million stars as yet unseen
Guide the great ship through waves between
The islands, where the four do roam
Forgotten, far away from home.

What reckless adventures can be told
Of the feckless four within the hold?
The sea is rough and Danny sick
He vomits far into the ship.

Meanwhile Steve tells his fishy tale
Of a mermaid he that day had held;
Slippery in his grasp she wailed,
But he had her thrice throughout that gale.

Chris, the captain of the mighty ship,
Will not allow such lowly play:
Seagulls yes, and jelly fish,
But, for humans, men will get the whip!

Such howls as Chris distributes blows
To naked Hoey, tied upon the bows!
But presently he stops and starts to show
Enjoyment, as he wriggles and lets go.

Down into the waves the Hoey falls,
And Simon jumps to save him by his ... toes:
Alas! A shark approaches with its jaws,
And snaps up Simon, who is seen no more.

Meanwhile, Danny with his sword
Defends the boat from massive hoards
Of tadpoles, which come gnashing with their horny teeth,
From somewhere out across the reef.

Soon the day is over, the three lie down to sheep,
The fourth is somewhere in the sea beneath;
The tadpoles, shark and mermaid gone,
The ship may sail in peace the whole night long.