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Byronic Guys

by Gilly "Nurse May" Dragowicz.

My dear friends assembled,
You sure do resemble
A fine bunch of lovers and poets;
And 'though I am shy,
I've promised to try:
I hope I don't screw up or blow it.

I'll try to be kind:
I'm sure you won't find
That much I will say's misanthropic;
Please don't start blushing,
As I will reveal nothing,
But men are my favourite topic.

A real romantic
Never gets frantic:
Romance means the same as frustration;
In love and in rhyme,
Dan takes his time,
Since he learned to delay graduation.

Some get their kicks
From nuclear physics,
How do you cuddle a quark?
We don't need the light on,
Because come up from Brighton
Here's Chris, who glows in the dark.

You've perhaps heard it spoken,
That my own heart was broken:
The relationship just didn't work;
Do you think instead
I should try for Grinstead,
Or is every Simon a jerk?

Anthony, so mellow,
A Kapital fellow
Who's into obscure deconstruction;
But Pam, don't you think he
Is being too kinky
In suggesting this form of seduction?

Here from down under:
The mathematical wonder,
He's charming and dashing and brave;
To make his invasions
He pulls out equations:
No girl escapes Crocodile Dave!

Girls are left gropeless
From a night with the hopeless
John just won't come across;
What makes it much harder -
He thinks he's a martyr
Ever since he got nailed to Lacrosse.

In management science
They have victims, not clients;
They learn to drink blood and bite necks.
I asked Steve what fun he
Could manage with money,
And he said he prefers it to sex.

And that's the last one:
I hope you had fun
Listening in to my little rhyme.
If I've gone on too long,
Well, that's always what's wrong:
So many men and so little time.