Frank Luntz (1962-1987,1987-), son of Mr. and Mrs. Ezekiel M.G.M. Luntz, became somewhat of a local hero in his hometown of Pollyanna-apolis, N.J. by winning the New Jersey Junior Shouting Competition at the age of six. "The other guys were just ass-holes", he modestly proclaimed afterwards. This was the beginning of his political career, as one of the judges was the Kontroller of the N.J. Ku Klux Klan, as well as being in charge of Social Services for the entire state, and immediately set young Frank up in student politics. When he was eight, he became the president of the Junior N.J. High Schools Young Republicans, by proxy: the previous president having had an untimely accidental death involving a white-robed-and-hooded mob carrying chainsaws and bludgeons. He progressed from this to the presidency of the Young Republicans when he was sixteen, and was from then onwards frequently invited to important Republican conventions. After Reagan was elected in 1980, Frank was often to be seen at social functions in the White House, and the President personally appointed him the whoremaster for the entire U.S. Republican party. In 1984, the "services" to senior governors and aides that Frank was providing (involving female Y.R. members) came close to becoming public knowledge, and in an effort to "launder" their act, Frank was despatched to Oxford to "continue his education". This was, initially at least, successful, as Frank's naive charm and friendliness enabled him to fit in to the lifestyle of Trinity college. However, in 1985, things began to go sour, when it became clear that the money he had raised for "Live Aid" - to help the starving Ethiopians, had in fact been used to buy Frank a brand new Porsche, painted in the "stars and stripes" colours. From this point onwards he was ostracised, and his attempts to succeed in student politics lead him nowhere. Although his political career in the U.S. is far from over, Frank now feels hard done by, and will readily expound his feeling that life has treated him badly to anyone who is prepared to lend an ear (CH).