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Hurricane Bonnie

by Chris "Childe Harold" Oakley

Hurricane Bonnie from the Carribean sea,
[Sung after every line:] Sing rent-boy, sing peg boy a-comin’ to me.
Was bored of destroyin’ Haiti.
"There’s nothing of value here," thought she,
"I need to go up to the land of the free."
For five days she travelled north-westerly,
’Til she got to North Caroliney.
She looked at the trailers and caravans below,
The sailboats and motor yachts proudly on show;
She looked at the lovely water front piers,
The hotels and bars serving ice-cold beers;
She watched them and drew in her mighty breath:
"I’ll turn on these fuckers, I’ll smash them to death."
For days she did ravage, she broke and destroyed:
She wasn’t sure why, but she was annoyed.
And while she did ravage, three hundred mile north
A chartering yacht from Annapolis set forth.
The crew they were salty and hardy and brave
And scorned all the dangers of ocean wave.
But bad luck for them, one of the lads
Was a shamen: a jinx, in Ray Bans clad;
And Bonnie has no love for shamens at all:
And hurried up north on the wings of a squall.
The wind it was gentle and southerly and nice,
When a nor-east gale through the shrouds did slice.
The boat did lurch and the lads did cry,
"’Tis Bonnie upon us, where shall we fly?"
The riggin’ was twisted, the sails were destroyed,
And skipper, a-helmin’ was more than annoyed.
"How shall we calm Bonnie," did he cry.
But the shamen, in scuppers had a smile that was wry:
"If I let Bonnie spank me, then she’ll go away,
And let us alone for many-a-day."
He pulled down his shorts, and with globes in the air
The wind did whistle down his cleft that was bare:
And Bonnie subsided and quite did relax,
And the sailboat went back to its northerly track.